The Reason
by windscryer
Summary: She didn't listen. She heard, but she didn't listen. And that one tiny distinction may ruin everything. Shules.


Inspired by a song, yet not a songfic.

Disclaimer: If there were any reason in this world Psych _would_ be mine. Since there is not, it is not. weeps

_ I'm sorry that I hurt you.  
It's something I must live with everyday.  
And all the pain I put you through . . .  
I wish that I could take it all away  
And be the one who catches all your tears.  
That's why I need you to hear:_

I've found a reason for me  
To change who I used to be.  
A reason to start over new  
And the reason is you . . .  


Hoobastank, _The Reason_

* * *

"_You have . . . one . . . missed call. To listen to your messages press-"_

Juliet thumbed the proper button and then replaced the phone by her ear. Of course Shawn would call when she was in the bathroom. She'd only been waiting for him to call all morning. Sometimes his timing was just plain annoying.

"_Hey, Jules, it's me. Duh. Of course it's me. I mean . . ."_ An explosive breath echoed over the line.

She chewed her lip. He was being uncharacteristically serious. That scared her just a little.

"_I thought about that thing we talked about last night. You know . . . my . . . secret."_

She'd thought about it a lot, too. And she'd come to a decision.

Which was why she'd been waiting for his call. That she missed.

"_You're right. I'm . . . It's not right. I shouldn't have lied to you. Or to Lassie or Chief or anyone."_

She closed her eyes as her harsh words from the night before came back to her. She'd been so . . . quick to judge. To condemn.

The pain of being lied to when she thought that she was different, that she meant more to Shawn than all the other girls he wasn't honest with . . . it had hurt.

And like any injured animal she'd lashed out, causing pain in defense so her own pain would stop, so she could escape.

"_And I don't blame you. You were right, I didn't treat you any differently. I lied to you just like I lied to everyone and that wasn't fair."_

Her brow furrowed as shame washed over her.

Only after hours of thinking had she finally been able to _think_ of what it had to have been like from his point of view.

She had been wrong.

So very wrong.

He _had_ treated her differently. He _had_ told her the truth.

And she'd rejected it. She'd rejected him.

"_I just called to say . . . to say I'm sorry. And to tell you that I'm going to make it right."_

Her breath caught as her eyes flew open, unshed tears welling up.

"No," she breathed. Her fingers tightened on the phone. "Please, no."

"_Goodbye, Jules."_

"Spencer, what are you doing here?"

She looked up to see Shawn at the door to Chief's office.

"I have a meeting with Chief," Shawn said, subdued, not his usual perky self.

He looked her way, half smiling, though the sight made her want to cry instead of reciprocate.

And then he went inside.

And shut the door.

"_No_," she said again, dropping her phone. It clattered to the floor, parts of the case breaking off upon impact.

She stood, staring at the door as Shawn sat down in the chair in front of the chief's desk.

And she was running.

Through syrup, through molasses, through water, the current running against her, pushing her back.

Shawn's lips were moving and she wasn't going to make it.

Then he stopped.

Karen just looked at him.

Finally—by some miracle—Juliet reached the door, though it was too late.

Even as she yanked it open, she knew she was too late.

Chief's eyes went to her and Shawn half turned in his seat to look at her, then faced forward again.

"Detective, this is a private meeting-"

"He's lying, Chief."

Now Shawn turned back to her, betrayal written across his face, hurt in his eyes, quickly spreading across the rest of his features.

"Detective-"

"No," Juliet said and entered the office. "I can't let him-" Her voice broke and she looked away.

"Shut the door, Detective." It was a gentle order that Juliet couldn't help but obey, however reluctant she was to do so.

"Have a seat."

She crossed the floor, taking the chair next to Shawn's.

His fingers were laced together across his stomach, his eyes were cast down. He refused to look at her now.

Juliet caught this in a sideways glance, then had to look away herself.

This was all her fault.

"Now what did you mean he was lying?"

Juliet's eyes shot up, then over to Shawn, before flicking back to Karen.

"I-"

"You can tell me, Detective."

When no answer was forthcoming, attention was directed to Shawn.

"Mr. Spencer, perhaps you could tell me what you were going to say before Detective O'Hara burst into the room so very dramatically. I can't help but think it might be related and perhaps it will give her the courage to speak."

Shawn nodded, hesitant, but determined.

"Chief, I've been hiding a secret from you."

Now Juliet looked at him, eyes wide.

Wait . . . But hadn't he already . . .

Her cheeks burned as she realized what she'd done. And what she'd said . . .

No wonder he looked so betrayed. He thought that she intended to rat him out before he could tell the chief himself.

Her hand came up to cover her face, maybe even smother the flames if she was lucky.

But perhaps the situation could yet be salvaged.

"A secret, Mr. Spencer?"

He nodded, once, jerkily.

"I'm-"

"We're dating," Juliet blurted.

Shawn whirled to stare at her and she met his gaze evenly, hoping against all hope that his powers of observation and uncanny ability to read people were working now.

If he were actually psychic that would have been preferable, but then this whole mess wouldn't have even happened if he were really psychic.

"You're dating? The two of you?"

There was a hint of laughter in her tone and, after another moment, Shawn broke away to look at her, Juliet following his example only then.

"Yes," he said. "We're dating. We kept it a secret because we weren't sure-"

"With the two of us working together so closely it might be considered-"

"Inappropriate and I didn't want to get Juliet in trouble and-"

"I didn't want to make it difficult for Shawn to assist us on cases-"

Karen held up a hand to stop them. The way they continued each other's sentences was amusing and impressive, but not necessary.

"It's all right. And it's . . . not exactly a secret," she added, her smile growing at the notion.

They were both silent feeling the relief that came from the close call and the reconciliation they had apparently found.

Daring to look up, Juliet saw Shawn was grinning at her, amazement shining in his eyes.

Her blush deepened and she had to look away.

"There is no official department policy regarding such a relationship so I will simply say that as long as it does not interfere with your working relationship I don't have a problem with it."

Silence reigned for another moment. Juliet didn't trust her voice and Shawn appeared to still be struck dumb by what she'd done.

"If that's all . . ."

That got Shawn's tongue working.

"Yes, Chief, that's . . . that's all. Thank you for your time and . . ."

Karen nodded. "It's quite all right, Mr. Spencer. I appreciate your being candid with me. Now if you don't mind I have work to do."

"Of course," he said and stood, extending a hand to Juliet. She accepted and stood.

He didn't let go right away.

"So, we'll see you around," Shawn said as he back towards the door, tugging Juliet along.

"Bye, Chief," she managed just before she was pulled out the door.

o.o

Karen watched them go until they were out of sight, headed for the front door, Shawn calling something to Lassiter that made him scowl.

She checked her watch. It was an early lunch, but they weren't in the middle of any pressing cases.

Taking a sip of her coffee she went back to the paperwork that was trying to take over her desk.

It was about time that Shawn told O'Hara he wasn't psychic.

Now the only question was how soon there would be a new ring on the young detective's finger and an invitation in the mail . . .

* * *

Review, please and thanks.


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